The Life Of The Z Warriors Uncut!
by dark temptation 06
Summary: Take a look behind the curtains... you wouldn't like what you see... The life of the Z warriors... UNCUT!
1. There's Something Up My Nose

**A/N: yep, it's another dbz fic, lol... hope you enjoy ;)**

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**The match was set, and nearly over, as Goku delivered the last punch, sending Vegeta flying towards Capsule Corp. He growled as he crashed headfirst into the garden. **

**Goku landed back to the ground, sweat pouring profusely from his forehead. "Gosh... Vegeta has gotten so much stronger since I've last seen him..."**

**"Surprised?" **

**He glanced behind him, and saw Vegeta levitating on his left side. "Not really." he laughed.**

**He stretched out his arm to attack, but paused, landing back on the ground. Something was strange... he was feeling... strange.**

**"Vegeta?" Goku murmured, staring at the petite Saiyan scrunching up his nose. **

**"I'm fine, just... give me a minute will you...?"**

**Goku cocked his head, utterly confused by the Prince's odd behavior. "Whatever you say, Vegeta... I'll be right back... gotta take a whizz..."**

**As Goku rushed to the restroom, Vegeta was left alone, scrunching up his nose. He felt very uncomfortable... like something was... crawling up his nose as he breathed in. **

**Slowly, he removed his glove, and put his index finger right into his nostril, trying to figure out what was blocking his airways. The results was nothing what he had imagined. It was a clear, sticky material that he had never encountered before. What was that thing, and why was it in his nose??**

**He took a sniff at it, but couldn't make anything out of it. Just what the hell was that thing??**

**"It has no smell... I wonder what it tastes like..." he bought the strange object to his lips, and parted his lips a little.**

**"Vegeta!!! You destroyed my garden patch!!! AGAIN!!! JUST WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOUR-"**

**"Woman?" he murmured silently, as he chewed on the strange material. Bulma's face went blue as he swallowed the last remains of it... it actually tasted good... coming from his nose. **

**"Vegeta, did you just-" Bulma asked, wavering in and out of consciousness.**

**"Do what, woman?"**

**"You just... ahhhhhhhh..." Bulma fainted, her legs twitching in the air. He got closer to her, slightly confused, and then he heard Goku's laughter. Which meant he was back from doing his business.**

**"Wow... even I wouldn't do _THAT _Vegeta!!" Goku laughed.**

**"What is... what is so god damn funny Kakkarot!!??"**

**"Dude... you just ate off your boogies!!!!" Goku laughed even harder now, falling to the ground miserably.**

**Vegeta shook his head silently. "I... don't get it..."**

**"And you were picking your nose, and... then you just ate it, and... OH THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS!!!!"**

**"My boyfriend... ate his... own mucus... oh my head..." Bulma whimpered, still shaken from what she had just witnessed.**

**"MUCUS!!!??? OH SHIT!!!" Vegeta gagged, and ran to a nearby bush, turning green as he tried to extricate what he had just eaten.**

**"Oh boy... what a day... I wonder what's gonna happen tomorrow." Goku chuckled, scratching the back of his neck nervously.**

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**A/N: how's that for ch 1? I hope you enjoyed it. This fic is just based on short chpts...just like this one. Remember, R&R!!!**


	2. Dude, You're a Dude!

**A/N: hey guys, i hope you enjoyed the last ch... on with ch 2 ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ**

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**Krillin sat on the couch, his eyes going side to side as he watched Master Roshi dancing, and skating all over Marron. He sighed, and yawned as he flipped the channels. "Where's Goku when you need him?" he murmured.**

**"Hey Krillin."**

**"Hey Yamcha." He lifted up his hand lazily, and caught the cold can of beer that was hurling towards him. "Thanks, man."**

**"No prob." said Yamcha, cracking open his own can. "Where's Goku when you need him?" Yamcha mirrored his thoughts.**

**"Yeah, I know. There's nothing to do after Frieza... I kinda wish he was still alive, you know?"**

**"Yeah... it's weird, but... I kinda wish that too..."**

**They sipped their beer in silence, and Krillin checked his watch repeatedly. "Hey Krillin... wanna go to Son Goku's place?"**

**Krillin shook his place wearily. "Nah, Chi-chi's there, remember?"**

**"Oh, you're right... how about Capsule Corp?"**

**"No, because I know you want to get Bulma back, and it won't work, oh and because Vegeta is there, and he still hasn't forgotten about the day I put Ultra-mega hot spice into his ramen." Krillin said with a sigh.**

**"But that happened almost three weeks ago!! How can he still remember that??"**

**"Saiyans have good memory?" Krillin said with a shrug.**

**"Well, I wouldn't include Goku." added Yamcha.**

**"You got that right." Krillin chuckled.**

**"And I don't want Bulma back. I'm already over her!!" Yamcha snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.**

**"U-huh, I believe you." Krillin narrowed his eyes, sarcasm very noticeable in his tone.**

**"Well maybe just a little bit..."**

**"Mhm."**

**"Okay, I miss her!!! I admit it!!! Happy!!??"**

**Krillin propped up the couch, now staring at Yamcha with great interest. "Seriously?? Wow... and I was just bluffing."**

**"Hey you guys, what's up??" came Oolong, grabbing a can of beer for himself, and joining the two Z fighters on the couch.**

**"Oh, hey Oolong. We're not doing much. Yamcha just admitted that he still has feelings for Bulma--"**

**"Krillin!!!" Yamcha shouted, burning with embarrassment.**

**"Well who wouldn't forget a broad like that?? She's major hotness." Oolong said, taking a sip of his beer. "What happened between you two anyway? You guys were steady, why'd you break it off?"**

**Yamcha sighed, and leaned on the armrest. "I... don't really know... I guess it happened when Vegeta moved in at Capsule Corp. She started acting... strange around me, and then she'd shout at me for no reason, expecting me to fight back... like Vegeta did. Then, we just lost touch with one another... and she dumped me..." Yamcha finished, blushing furiously. **

**"Gosh... that's exactly how I felt when Marron dumped me."**

**Oolong stared at the two very depressed Z warriors, and checked his pockets momentarily. "I've got enough money for us to go to a bar. Wanna come??" **

**"Yeah!!!"**

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**They were out, and ready, and in about half an hour, they found a bar, a little farther down from Capsule Corp. They went inside to check it out. It was not what they had expected. Everything was flashy, and there were only men. Except for that one lady behind the counter that was checking them out with her devilish eyes. Krillin, and Yamcha pretended to be cool, and walked up to the lovely mistress, as Oolong trailed behind them, shaking his head.**

**"Well, hello there you pretty thing. Why are you alone back there... want some of my... company?" Yamcha grinned stupidly. Krillin frowned suspiciously, and tugged on his evening Jacket. **

**"What!?! I'm making progress here!" snapped Yamcha.**

**"Dude, I think this is--"**

**"Chill out dude, I'll be back in just a sec." he smirked, as the girl let him in behind the counter, winking as he took out a pack of condoms. **

**"--a gay bar." Krillin finished his sentence. "I'm getting out of here, what do you say, Oolong?"**

**"What about Yamcha?"**

**"Let the fool stay. I tried to warn him."**

**"Well... let's just grab a couple of beers, and we'll get the hell outta here."**

**"Right."**

**The bartender took Yamcha to another room behind the bar, and pushed him forcefully into the bed. Yamcha smirked, and removed his shirt. "Feisty little one, aren't you?" **

**She laughed heartedly, and to her surprise, Yamcha sat up, and pulled her skirt down, surprised to see no underwear there... but he saw something that shouldn't have been there. **

**Yamcha backed away from her, his whole face turning blue. **

**"What's the matter sweetie?? Is this your first time, or something??"**

**"N-n-No... but you--" stuttered Yamcha.**

**"Are you nervous, don't worry, I'll get you relaxed." she smirked, hovering over him like a tiger catching it's prey. Yamcha shook his head, and crawled away from. "N-n-no way!! Stay back!! You have a... you have a---" Yamcha stuttered, sweating profusely.**

**"Are you playing hard to get?? My, my, I love your type." she licked her lips in anticipation.**

**"Dude... YOU'RE A DUDE!!!" Yamcha rolled out of the bed, underneath her, and quickly grabbed his shirt. "It was, uh... great meeting you, and... good luck with your... uh... um... _thingy_..."**

**Yamcha ran out of the bar, running for his dear, precious life. "I'll get you for this... Krillin, Oolong... HOW DARE YOU TAKE ME TO A GAY BAR!!!!!"**

**This incident was never spoken of again, and to make matters worse, the trans prostitute is still on the lookout for Yamcha... she might come back... for revenge... find out what's in store for the Z warriors on the next chapter of The Life Of The Z Warriors Uncut!**

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**A/N: yay, ch 2!! I hoped you enjoyed it, until the next chapter!! ;)**


	3. The Talk

**A/N: Ch3... oh, the humor... ;) lol!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ**

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**Piccolo was meditating over a large boulder, and Gohan stared at him with a transfixed gaze. Gohan knew that Piccolo didn't like being interrupted during their training sessions, but a question was bugging the back of his head, he just add to ask him before his brains blew up.**

**"Uh... um... Piccolo?" he murmured nervously.**

**"Moments passed, and he looked at the demi-Saiyan with one eye. "What is it kid?"**

**"I've been... meaning to ask you a question... for quite some time..." he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. **

**"And the question is?" he asserted.**

**"Where do babies come from?"**

**Piccolo shouted, and fell of the boulder. Gohan advanced him, and stared at the slightly shaken Namek. "Was it something I said?" Gohan murmured, very confused.**

**"Why are you asking me that!!??" shouted Piccolo, large veins now appearing on his forehead. "Ask your parents, not _ME_!!!"**

**"My parents?" Gohan repeated. "Why can't I ask you? Is there something wrong?"**

**The Namek shook his head silently, "There's nothing wrong, it's better for you to talk to your parents about this kind of stuff... _personal _stuff..." he said gruffly.**

**"Why is it personal, Piccolo?"**

**Piccolo growled silently. "Just... go ask someone else, okay kid??"**

**"Okay, sure... gees..." he took off into the air, and thought about Piccolo's answer for a while. _Gosh... why couldn't he tell me where babies come from? What's so wrong about trying to know where babies come from? Maybe they're just trying to hide something from me... but what? What are they hiding from me? _**

**He blinked rapidly, and saw Capsule Corp nearby. He smiled, and flew towards that direction. "I know what I should do now!! I'm going to ask Bulma!! Maybe she could tell me where babies come from!!!"**

**He landed about three feet from the main entrance, and when he was about to knock, Vegeta opened the door, the usual scowl crossed over his features, his arms crossed over his chest, strict posture, etc...**

**Gohan backed away, and felt his legs trembling. "Oh, uh... forgot you lived here... hey... erm... Vegeta."**

**"What do you want, brat??" he snapped.**

**Gohan twiddled with his fingers nervously. "Well, uh... I... um... I wanted to speak with Bulma." **

**Vegeta lifted his chin up, and averted his eyes to the Gravity Room. "The woman is busy... repairing the Gravity Room," he clarified. **

**"Oh... that's too bad... I needed to ask her something _really _important!!!" he argued.**

**"Ask her when she is not busy," he said sternly, as though finishing the conversation there. As he began to close the door, Gohan came up with another great idea.**

**"Vegeta, wait!!"**

**"What is it this time, brat!!??" He snapped, opening the door again, impatience crossing over his hard features. **

**"Well... maybe I can... ask you..."**

**"Spit it out already will you!!??"**

**Gohan rubbed the back of his neck, sweat no pouring from his forehead. "Okay... where do babies come from??"**

**Vegeta froze in his stature, and a huge sweat drop appeared on the back of his head. "Uh... excuse me?" he stammered.**

**"Do you know where babies come from, Vegeta?? I tried to ask Piccolo, but he went berserk, and told me to ask my parents, but they're out shopping for clothes, and I don't want to bother them, so I came to ask Bulma, but since she's so busy fixing the G.R, maybe you can tell me where babies come from," he smiled up at the Saiyan Prince.**

**Vegeta shivered, and pushed him towards the Gravity Room. Gohan was confused. "Hey, where are we--"**

**"I'm pretty sure the woman has time to speak with you. You could talk about... you're _issue_."**

**"My what?" **

**"Just talk to her for crying out loud!!!" he dropped him off, and flew back inside the mansion. Gohan just shrugged, and knocked on the door hastily. There was a slight hiss, and smoke as the door opened, Bulma's head peering through the crack. "Oh, Gohan, it's you... I thought it was Vegeta about to tell me to hurry up or something. What's up, dude?"**

**Gohan did the same nervous gesture, and blushed slightly. "Nothing, I just came here... to ask you a quick question."**

**"Sure, what's on your mind?" She asked, returning her attention to a couple of wires sticking out of the wall. **

**"Well... do you know where babies come from?"**

**Bulma's face went as pale as did Vegeta's when he asked him that same question, and the tools she was holding in her hands were now scattered all over the floor. "What... what did you say... G-G-Gohan?"**

**"I said... where do babies come from??" Gohan raised his voice at her. Bulma frowned at him, and shook him on the shoulders.**

**"Tell me...where have you been, what have you been watching, who have you been talking to, and does Yamcha, or Master Roshi have anything to do about this??!!" Bulma said all in one breath. **

**"Umm... I was training with Piccolo, I watched digimon last week, before mom blew up the television... I was talking to Piccolo not too long ago, and I just talked to Vegeta right now, but he told me to talk to you, and no, Yamcha, and Master Roshi have nothing to do with me trying to find out where babies come from.." he said in one breath.**

**"Why don't you... ask your parents??" she chuckled nervously, now picking up the tools from the floor.**

**"That's what Piccolo told me to do, but they're out shopping right now, and I didn't want to bother them, so I tried to talk to you, then I saw Vegeta, and he said you were busy, so I asked him instead, but he kinda freaked out on me, and told me to ask you instead."**

**"Oh... I see... well... Piccolo's right. You should ask your parents."**

**"But why?? Why can't anyone tell me where babies come from?? I just want to know, what's so wrong about that??"**

**Bulma smiled, and played with his hair. "Listen, kid... it's better to hear this... coming from your parents, besides... Chichi might rip off my arms and legs off if I told you... so just wait till your parents come from shopping, and ask them whenever you're ready."**

**"Whenever I'm ready?"**

**Bulma winced inwardly. "Yeah... when they come back home, Okay kid. And don't ask Yamcha, or Master Roshi about this, okay??"**

**"Why not?" asked Gohan.**

**"Well, because... they... just don't ask them, okay??"**

**"Okay."**

**Gohan took off into the air again, and when he saw his house nearby, he landed, and kicked off his shoes as he entered the house. He could tell right away that Goku was home, because he could hear him talking. He sounded a bit weird though... like he was screaming, and shouting at the same time. He could also hear Chichi's voice, and her voice sounded weird too. Like she was screaming for help, or something. He didn't know why they sounded like that, but he had to check it out.**

**He peered through the bedroom door, and saw his mom on the bed, and his dad was on top of her, moving really fast above her. They appeared to be wrestling, but why were they wrestling on the bed?? And why were they naked?? He shrugged, and went outside, until they finished their _wrestling_, but no one came out of the house, so instead he went back in the house, and picked up a book to read. It was his favorite book. Moby Dick.**

**As he flipped through the pages, Goku finally came out of the bedroom, and paused when he saw Gohan sitting on the couch with a book on his lap.**

**"Oh, hey Gohan!! Were you there?? All this time??" he asked nervously.**

**He looked up, and saw Goku peering down at him, his face filled with preoccupation. "Nah, I just came right now, and I wanted to ask you a question, but since you were shopping all day, I went to Piccolo's then to Capsule Corp, and I came back here, but since you and mom were wrestling, I waited outside until you guys finished. Oh, and by the way, who won?? You looked like you were winning!!!" Gohan grinned giving him a thumbs up. **

**Goku smacked himself in the head, and sat next to Gohan. He thought Gohan had stayed over at Master Roshi's place, so he insisted that he and Chichi get some alone time... but he didn't know Gohan was there the whole time... It was finally time... to give him the _talk_. He just wished Chichi was awake to explain it all, not him!!!**

**"Hey dad, I wanted to ask you a question." Gohan said, putting the book aside. **

**"Okay, ask away son."**

**"Where do babies come from??"**

**Goku fell out of the sofa, and staggered on his feet to get back on the couch. "Oh boy... listen Gohan... what I am about to tell you... you keep it in the house, you hear. And don't tell any of your classmates." Goku warned him.**

**"Okay dad. Tell me where babies come from."**

**"Listen... when two people are in love, they...err... make love to each other."**

**"I don't get it. What does that have to do with babies?" **

**"I'm getting to that, Gohan, just give me a minute." Goku sat up, took in a deep breath, and exhaled. He threw several punches into the air, and sat back down on the couch, staring down at Gohan with a lot of confidence. "Listen... ever wonder why your mom and I sleep in the same bed?"**

**"Because... we're poor, and you can only afford one bed?"**

**Goku shook his head. "No, well... you see when a man loves a woman he puts his..."**

**As Goku continued to explain the facts about life, Gohan's face turned into a deep shade of blue as he continued to explain. **

**"And that's where babies come from, Gohan." Goku said, heaving a sigh as he said all this in one breath. Gohan shook his head, and flew out of the house, drilling a hole on the roof of the house. Goku stared up, and arched his eyebrow. "He was going to hear about it one day from Master Rosh... it's not like I messed up his life... hopefully not..."**

**Later that day, Gohan told all his classmates about _the facts of life, _and Goku was sent a letter to have a personal conference with the teacher herself. Goku was wearing his best suit, and Chichi was also wearing her best clothes too, but she was in a very prissy mood. She couldn't believe why he had taken away his innocence like that!!!**

**"He was bound to find out about it anyway, Chichi!! It's not my fault!!"**

**"Oh, nothing's ever your fault!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TOLD HIM SUCH A THING LIKE THAT!!! HE'S ONLY SEVEN YEARS OLD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! NOW IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ALL THE KIDS ARE TRAMATIZED!!!"**

**"But I told him not to tell his classmates!!" defended Goku.**

**"OH, LIKE THAT'S GONNA HELP!! WHAT GOOD FATHERING SKILLS YOU HAVE!! YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FATHER!!!" Chichi shouted at the top of her lungs.**

**Gohan, and a couple of his classmates were all hiding behind the window, staring at the ongoing battle. Gohan bought his fingers to his lips, careful not to make a sound. "Listen... that's how they sounded like when they were doing it."**

**"Hey maybe they're gonna do it now." whispered the boy.**

**"Let's go play hide and seek!!"**

**"Okay, you're it!!"**

**Gohan finally learned about the facts of life, and where babies really come from. But the fact of the matter was that this event had marked his life forever, and now he was afraid of getting near any girl... Find out what happens next on the next exciting chapter of The Life Of The Z Warriors Uncut!**

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**A/N: yay, I got two reviews!! thanx so much, i'm happy!! XD oh, and if you noticed, i stole a couple of lines from the simpsons. so, i don't own that either... oops...**


	4. I Think I Pooped In My Pants

**A/N: I'm so sorry I took so long for the update, but here's ch 4, enjoy!! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own dbz. I OWN THE UNIVERSE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!**

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**Yamcha crossed his arms over his chest, his face masked with anger, and frustration. He still hadn't forgiven the two about the incident in the gay bar, Krillin, and Oolong wondered if they will ever be friends anymore. **

**"I mean, it was an accident, it's not my fault he didn't want to listen to me. I did try to warn him. "Krillin said to Oolong, who nodded in agreement.**

**"You should have at least tried to stop me, you know." Yamcha murmured, peering at the two with narrowed eyes. "When I see a hot girl, my thought process isn't so good as it usually its.. you know, so you guys have to try harder."**

**"Oh well, it happened, you came out alright... let's just forget this ever happened, okay??"**

**A throbbing vein appeared on Yamcha's forehead. Throbbing so horribly, it might just burst from all the pressure. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING HAPPENED!!??? YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!??"**

**Krillin, and Ooolong cringed, and gave each other a nervous stare. "I guess plan B didn't work either." Krillin cleared his throat, and took a daring step towards Yamcha. "Listen, we didn't even know it was a gay bar in the first place, cut us some slack, will you?? Besides, its not my fault you didn't listen to me. None of this would've happened if you'd just listened to me."**

**"And to top it all off, we had to get out of there cause some guy started hitting on Krillin." added Oolong.**

**"Sorry man." Krillin murmured shyly.**

**"Hey you guys, what's up?" Goku walked in, Gohan by his side. He was five steps behind Goku. Apparently he was still traumatized by the recent event, in which he learned about the facts of life.**

**"Hey Goku, what brings you here?"**

**"I wanna spar. Anyone wanna??"**

**Yamcha crossed his arms, and Krillin narrowed his eyes.**

**"I guess that's a no. Well, I'll see you later then, I'm going to see if Vegeta wants to spar."**

**He an Gohan flew out of the house, and Krillin watched them, until they disappeared into the sky.**

**"I'll never forgive you for this... I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOOK ME TO A GAY BAR!!!!"**

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**"Hey dad, I smell food." Gohan murmured, flying beside his father. **

**"Yeah, I know... it smells like--"**

**"Chili dogs." said Gohan.**

**"Yeah, chili dogs... hey I sense Vegeta... he's probably around here somewhere... oh, there he is!!" he shouted, waving at a tiny black dot in the sky. Soon the tiny dot got closer, and there he was, wearing his blue spandex, and armor. He stared at Gohan, and shivered slightly. He was afraid he was going to ask where babies come from again.**

**"Hey Vegeta, what are you doing out here. I thought you'd be training."**

**"I was, but I accidentally broke down the G.R. The woman is fixing it as we speak."**

**"Oh."**

**"Let's spar."**

**"No wait, I wanna eat first." Gohan, and Vegeta shook their heads at this.**

**"Kakkarot!! Is that all you ever think about!!?? Food!!??" his eyebrows twitched as he felt his own stomach growling as the delicious smell of chili dogs wafted into his sensitive nose. And no, it wasn't his boogies. (A/N: LOL!!)**

**"See, you're hungry too, let's go!!!" Goku begged.**

**"FINE!!!"**

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**They walked into a large crowd, and found a hot dog vender just a couple of miles from where they were. The hot dog vendor was slightly irrational as he ordered 980 chili dogs, with a side order of 50 chili fries, and ten gallons of soda. It took a long while, just waiting there, and when it was finished, Vegeta handed him the money. **

**"Wow Vegeta, thanks."**

**"Peh." he murmured, grabbing a chili dog from the many colored lit boxes. It had a familiar taste, but Vegeta ignored it, since he felt so god damn hungry.**

**"O pghtb fggohn tght u gyhuj???" Goku's mouth was so stuffed, he could barely talk at all.**

**"No thanks dad, I got to go back home, before mom gets mad."**

**"A pfft a tif gagusgane???"**

**"It's not history, it's Math and Science. I told you five times already, remember??"**

**"Og, I ghotort."**

**"Okay, bye dad!!"**

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**A half hour later... **

**"Boy, am I stuffed..." Goku murmured, taking a seat by a tree.**

**"Okay, let's spar then."**

**"Alright!!"**

**The fight began, and already Goku was at a upper hand. Vegeta gritted his teeth, and charged head first at Goku, blue energy surging all over his body, and when his fist came in contact with Goku's jaw, his head was thrown back in surprise, and he punched him there again, a string of blood now issuing past his lips.**

**"Damn it." Goku hissed, wiping his already swollen lip.**

**"Don't worry, there's more coming." he smirked, and powered up. When he did that, he heard a tiny popping sound. He powered up again, and the strange noise grew louder, and shriller.**

**"What the hell was that??" Vegeta spoke his thought out loud.**

**Goku snickered. "It was coming out of your rear end, Vegeta."**

**The popping noise suddenly grew even louder, and a strange smell wafted to his nose. "Is that so?? ... Yes... I can feel the bubbles..."**

**Goku fanned his nose, as he watched the older Saiyan fart like a banshee.**

**"Kakkarot... give me a minute will you... I'm gonna go... take a crap... when I'm finished, we're still gonna spar!! Got that!!??"**

**"Sure, whatever you say, Vegeta... take your time."**

**"And don't forget!!" he shouted, the erupting noises growing even louder. "Don't you forget that this battle isn't over yet!! Once I've finished with my business, we'll finish this!!"**

**"Sure, whatever."**

**"And when I'm through, I'll..." Vegeta paused, his left eyebrow twitching as a felt something bugging his spandex. "Um... Kakkarot..."**

**"What??" Goku moved closer to Vegeta, raising an eyebrow at him. "What's wrong?"**

**"I think I... I think I pooped in my pants..."**

**Goku's fists came in contact with his knees, as he roared in laughter. He was laughing so much, no sound was coming out of his mouth.**

**"First... the boogies... now this!!" Goku gasped for air. "Oh... SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!"**

**(cut scene here, as Goku gets his ass kicked by a very pissed off Vegeta)**

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**A/N: I know this ch wasn't as good as the other ones, but i hoped u guys enjoyed it :)**


	5. Secrets and Lies!

**A/N: This weeks has been a bit hectic for me, but now I bring you ch 5:D**

**I do not own DBZ, characters, etc... I do own the universe though, lol!!!**

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**Mirai Trunks watched his father training from a distance. He wanted so much to tell him that he was his son, but he knew he couldn't. **

**"Father..." he murmured, staring at the G.R. Several hours later, Vegeta emerged from the G.R, sweating profusely, and a towel draped around his shoulder. Trunks snored slightly, and gazed at his father. He was finally out, he thought.**

**He yawned, and stretched his arms, and rested against the tree again. He jumped up in surprise when he saw his father staring intensely at him.**

**"Well, if it isn't the super saiyan brat." Vegeta hissed.**

**"Oh... sorry sir, I was... taking a nap." Trunks said, sitting up straight.**

**"There is no time for napping if we're going to fight those androids." Vegeta murmured, crossing his arms over his chest in concern.**

**"Yeah... I'm sorry fath-- err sir." Trunks croaked nervously.**

**He arched an eyebrow at the purple haired boy. "Where are your parents, brat?"**

**"My... p-parents? Oh... my mom's at home right now... probably cleaning the house or something."**

**"What about your father?" Vegeta asserted.**

**"Oh, my father? He... he died a long time ago." Trunks said, hoping the pain wouldn't be noticeable in his features. Vegeta arched an eyebrow at this. "Is that so?"**

**"Yeah... I've never really met him. He left when I was only a baby."**

**"Hmm."**

**"But I had my mother with me. We were happy together."**

**Trunks stiffened when Vegeta took a seat next to him. What was he up to, he thought. Why was he acting so strange all of a sudden?**

**"In your time... did I die?"**

**Trunks gave his father a quizzical look. "Excuse me?"**

**"Just answer the question." Vegeta said calmly.**

**"Well... yeah... you did." Trunks aswered obviously.**

**"By whom?" Vegeta asked, showing no signs of fear, or surprise.**

**"One of the androids killed you." Trunks murmured darkly.**

**"Really? I guess I'll just have to train harder don't I??" Vegeta smirked, standing up. "I'll train harder, and I'll beat those blasted machines into the netherworlds on my own!!!" He growled furiously heading towards the G.R.**

**"FATHER NO!!!!"**

**Vegeta froze, stopping just inches from the G.R. Trunks clapped his hand over his mouth, mentally cursing at himself for his stupidity. What happened to his self restraint? Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut!!???**

**"Brat?" Vegeta grunted, closing in on Trunks. "What did you just say??"**

**"I said nothing... I think I hear Bulma calling me--" Trunks thought he took the lame excuse, and he was breaking into a sprint, but was held back by a strong hand. Trunks just lowered his head in shame.**

**"You called me father." Vegeta said dubiously.**

**Trunks chuckled nervously, prying his arm from his grip. "Sorry about that... slip of the tongue."**

**"It does make sense... you're a super saiyan... are you really--"**

**"Sorry, gotta go!! Bulma's calling me!!"**

**Trunks left before Vegeta said another word.**

* * *

**Trunks watched the younger version of his mother pour tea into his cup. She smiled at him as she sat next to him, staring at him for a long time. All this attention was making him burn with embarrassment. **

**"So Trunks... do you have a girlfriend??"**

**He blushed. "No. I uh... haven't had time for that." _I'm too busy fighting with the androids... besides, the whole population was destroyed..._**

**"Oh. Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat."**

**"No thanks, I'm alright." He said, taking a sip from his tea. "Umm... Bulma?" he winced. He felt awkward, calling her by her name.**

**"What is it?"**

**"You... you are with Vegeta... are you not?"**

**Bulma blushed crimson red. "Y-yes. Why? What is it?"**

**"O-okay... Nothings wrong, I just... I just wanted to know, that's all." He murmured, picking up his tea to take another sip.**

**"Okay."**

**There was a long silence after that, and both winced inwardly when they saw Vegeta walk into the kitchen. He was staring at Trunks. "We need to talk."**

**Trunks blushed faintly, and Bulma stared at the two, wondering what was going on. "Is there... something wrong?"**

**"Yes. I need to be alone with the brat."**

**Trunks shook his head. "N-no... I'm busy... talking to Bulma."**

**"Trunks, what's the matter?" Bulma asked him, placing her hand over his. Trunks gulped, and got up from his seat.**

**"Thanks for tea... I better head off now... and... train for a while." He glanced at his father, who stared back at him. "We only have three years before the androids arrive, I... better get a move on."**

**"Just a minute, brat. You're not leaving until you've answered my questions!!" Vegeta snapped.**

**Trunks frowned, mirroring his father's features. Bulma stared at him, and noticed the resemblance between the two. He was of coarse, a Saiyan... were they related??**

**"I'm afraid I don't have time... to answer your questions at the moment. Maybe some other time, I guess." He winked, and got out through the back door. Vegeta just stared at him, and returned his gaze to Bulma. He smirked.**

**"Vegeta?"**

**He went to Bulma's side, and pulled her in for a kiss. Bulma's protest was muffled against his lips, and she pounded her tiny fists on his chest.**

**"What... what was that for??" Bulma panted, frowning suspiciously when he nuzzled her nose.**

**"There is work to be done," he said, scooping her up in his arms, and climbed up the stairs to her bedroom.**

**"What work?"**

**"You'll see..."**

* * *

**Trunks flew overhead the clouds, glad that he was out there, and not back inside Capsule Corp. Vegeta had figured him out, and it was all his blasted fault for opening his mouth!!**

**Perhaps he had forgotten already, Trunks thought to himself. It was already nearing midnight... he was positive that he had already forgotten about the incident...**

**"He knows... he knows I'm his son, but I... I'm not ready to talk to him just yet. It'll be too weird!!!"**

**"Running away??"**

**"Gah!!!" He shouted as he nearly crashed into his father. He stopped, only a couple of inches from him, and Vegeta smirked at the surprised look in his face. It was priceless.**

**"I'm... I'm not running away!!!" Trunks spat, backing away from him.**

**"Then what exactly are you doing??"**

**Trunks thought for a moment, the two levitating about three hundred feet into the air. "I said I was training. What, you don't trust me?"**

**"No."**

**This was a great put downer for Trunks.**

**"I don't trust anyone. And besides, how am I going to believe your little hoax??"**

**Trunks cocked his head. "Hoax?"**

**"Yes, hoax. I absolutely don't believe a single word of your story. About you coming from the future, and these... blasted androids... I don't believe you."**

**Trunks cringed at his father's words. He knew this was coming sooner or later. "Believe what you believe, Vegeta. I really don't care."**

**"And how do I know you are not the enemy?? You could be the one plotting this--"**

**"I'm not the one plotting this!! I'm not the enemy!!!" Trunks shouted, powering up to Super Saiyan. Why can't you trust me?? I came here to rescue this world from obliteration. I came here... to..." Trunks paused, and turned his back to Vegeta.**

**"Came here for what, brat??"**

**_I came here... to save your life... and to finally meet you in person. _Trunks powered down, his fists trembling at his sides. "You wouldn't care less anyway. I... can't tell you..."**

**"I know." Vegeta spoke after a long silence. Trunks felt his eyes widen in shock at the two words. What did he mean by them? Did he, or did he not know that he was his son?**

**"You know?" Trunks croaked.**

**Vegeta smirked. "You're an idiot, you know that?? Just like your mother."**

**Trunks felt his whole body tremble. _Oh kami... he does know!! What should I do?? What should I say?? ughh... if only mom told me more about him. I remember she said he was always out training. And that ridiculous story about him eating his boogies. Mother... what should I do??_**

**"Right." he said, clearing his throat. "Um... so... how's training?" Trunks asked lamely.**

**"I don't talk about my training to no one." Vegeta said sternly.**

**"Oh... okay. I... I heard you ate your boogies." Trunks clamped his hand over his mouth, blushing profusely. He wasn't supposed to say that. Now he was in deep trouble!!!**

**"I--what??" Vegeta spat.**

**"No, nothing. So... I also heard you pooped in your pants." Again, he put his hand over his mouth, hoping he could hold in his laughter. Goku had told him that on the day he killed Frieza, when he gave him the heart medicine. He couldn't stop laughing, he had to avoid being around his father for a while because just seeing him made him die in laughter.**

**"I did... you... who told you that??? I demand an answer!!" Vegeta spat, a vein appearing on his forehead.**

**Trunks gasped for air. "No one... told me, I just ... I found out."**

**"Liar!! Kakkarot told you!! He was the only one with me... unless he told his brat, and he passed the information around... I'll get you for this Kakkarot!!!"**

**Trunks eyes watered as he broke down in laughter. He stopped immediately when he saw the angry look in his face. "Sorry, father." he said timidly. "I... we should be heading back."**

**Vegeta frowned, and smacked him upside the head. There was a bump, the size of a golf ball, throbbing on his head. A tear leaked out of the corner of his eye. "That wasn't necessary, father!!!"**

**"It was. That's what you get for laughing!! Now, where is Kakkarot?? I have to teach him a lesson."**

**"Okay. I'll go back..."**

**"Don't mention this too anyone..."**

**Trunks frowned at Vegeta. "Huh?"**

**"Not even to your mother. But now... I have a score to settle with Kakkarot. This time, I'll make sure he learns to keep his mouth closed." Vegeta hissed, pounding his fist into his opened palm. Trunks just stared at his father like he was some sort of psychopath. "Okay... sure father, I'll... see you later then."**

**Find out what happens next on The Life Of The Z Warriors Uncut!**

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**A/N: I know this ch wasn't as funny as most of my previous chpts, but next ch will be even more funnier... thnx for reading, and please R&R:D**


	6. The Hunt Begins!

**A/N: theres nothing much to say, but enjoy!! XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, but owning the universe is a lot better!!! XP**

* * *

**As Trunks headed back towards Capsule Corp, Vegeta searched high and low for Goku. He knew the oaf was around there somewhere. He could sense his energy, which was rising dramatically. He could also feel two other energies from where Goku was. It was Gohan, and Piccolo. He grinned, and followed the source of the energy, when he felt another energy coming towards him at an amazing speed. He grimaced, and turned towards the interrogator. **

**"I thought you were going back, Trunks." **

**Trunks appeared by his fathers side, leaning down to take a breather. "Yeah... I changed my mind." He looked around, and felt the familiar energies. "Why are we here?"**

**"I'm looking for Kakkarot." **

**"Wow, I thought you were joking around about that." Trunks laughed nervously. **

**"I don't joke around, son." Vegeta said with a grim frown in his face. **

**Trunks blushed momentarily. He just found out that he was his son a couple of hours ago, and he was already referring to him as a son. _Mom is gonna flip when I tell her this!!!_**

**"Let's get going, shall we?? Or are you going to stay behind??"**

**Trunks brushed his thoughts out of his mind, and returned his full attention back to his father. "R-right... let's go."**

* * *

**Meanwhile, Goku, and Piccolo were fighting 300 ft into the air, above a plantation field, of god knows what. Gohan had read about this particular plant once in a book, but he couldn't remember at the moment, as he watched his father give it his all as he fought Piccolo. There was a flash of light, a loud explosion, and a fist came hurling towards his face. He raised his fist in the air, and blocked the attack, and as he flew back, he produced a Kamehameha wave, which was easily deflected by Goku. The wave went sky high, disappearing into outer space. **

**"I'm... getting... tired..." Gohan panted, sweat literally running down his face. Goku and Piccolo also looked very exhausted, and they stopped for a while to prepare themselves for yet another match. **

**"You did good, son." Goku said proudly, patting him on the shoulder. Gohan smiled, but then looked at the ground miserably.**

**"Yeah, but... I wanna get stronger. I want to be strong like you, dad!!" He shouted, balling his fists.**

**The three turned their heads as they felt two familiar energies coming straight at them. Gohan was starting to sweat even more, but Piccolo, and Goku just laughed. It was as though they already saw this one coming. **

**Two short minutes passed, and Vegeta arrived first. "Kakkarot. Piccolo. Brat."**

**Gohan squirmed nervously, but regained his composure in a split second. He didn't want to show his fear in front of Piccolo. **

**"Hey Vegeta, what's up?? Chili dogs doing you any good??" Goku snickered.**

**Vegeta blushed, but then it fainted away quickly. "Shut your mouth!!! I thought I told you not to tell anyone!!!"**

**Trunks finally arrived, transformed as a super saiyan. "Hey, Goku. Gohan. Piccolo."**

**"What do you mean by that, Vegeta? And hey, Trunks. Glad you could make it."**

**"You and I both know what I'm talking about, so CUT THE CRAP, KAKKAROT!!!"**

**Gohan raised his hand to his chin, almost in observation. "Oh, I know what he's talking about. Is it about the time when he pooped in his pants???'**

**Vegeta growled ferociously as Trunks, Goku, and Piccolo broke down in laughter. "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!! YOU WILL DIE KAKKAROT!! YOU HEAR ME!!?? YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!" Vegeta produced a galick gun, and Goku flew straight towards it, flinging it aside with his two hands. He thought it would go into the air, but instead, it was hurling down onto the ground, heading straight towards the plantation field. There was a loud explosion, as the plantation blew into bits. There was a heavy cloud surrounding them, followed by a very peculiar aroma, which thickened around them by the passing second.**

**"Nice going, Vegeta!!" Goku shouted, waving his fist at the Prince.**

**"ME??? You're the once who reflected it, you dumb ass!!!!" Vegeta retorted. Trunks stared at his father for a spit second, and realized that something was growing out of his head. **

**"Hey... Vegeta... there's something growing out of your head... _hahahahaha_..." Trunks chuckled softly, his brain starting to buzz. Vegeta put his hand on his head, but felt nothing but his flyaway hair. He looked at Goku, and noticed that he was inflating like a hot air balloon, he could blow at any moment.**

**"Hahahahaha... Kakkarot... kash brit pleg sjk iuq uio." he chuckled, strange words slipping out of his tongue. Soon, everyone was growing into fits of laughter, their world of vision becoming one hell of a roller coaster ride. **

**Gohan leaned forwards, laughing like a madman, and through the haziness of it all, he realized what was going on. "Hey, you guys!! I think... I think we're high!!!" Gohan called out to the others.**

**"Wu diud iudi glohgsy ptrdwu gujhin???" Vegeta sputtered.**

**"High on what??" Goku managed to say as he continued to laugh for no reason at all.**

**"The plants... the plantation... _hahahaha_... it was w-w-weed." Gohan chuckled, leaning against his father. Goku laughed even harder when the cloud thickened around them. **

**Trunks began to fly around, making strange movements, but it was making everyone else laugh, as though they have never seen anything more funnier than that. That's how high they were. (A/N: LOL!!!)**

**"Ahsg yiii goo hught kekkket!!!!" Vegeta laughed, pointing his finger at Goku. "Abish tugh buth kigh fude ii uio!!!"**

**"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU'RE SAYING, VEGETA!!!" Goku laughed, leaning against Piccolo, who had his eyes closed, and chuckling slightly, muttering things under his breath, like, "Chicken pies... raspberry pies... apple pies... _pumpkin pies_."**

**"Whyd yeyu iduy iiye hogt yu trnks???" Vegeta sputtered to Trunks. Trunks just shook his head in confusion. **

**"I don't understand you, Vegeta. What did you say??"**

**"WHYD YEYU IDUY HOGT YU TRNKS!!!???" Vegeta growled, shaking his fist at him. Trunks just shook his head, and all of a sudden, his eyelids were becoming heavy. He checked his watch, and he realized that it was 3:30 in the morning. They had nearly spent the whole night there, just laughing, and cracking jokes at each other.**

**"We should get some rest, you guys. It's already 3:30 in the morning." His voice was raspy from all the laughing. **

**They all landed back on the ground, instantly falling asleep as they touched the ground. As the sun came up, the strange cloud was clearing as the breeze came in.**

* * *

**It was 11: 30 in the morning, and Trunks eyes fluttered rapidly as the sun hit his face. He had no idea how he got there, and he had no idea why Vegeta, Piccolo, Goku, and Gohan were there with him. Just what happened last night, he thought, as the others began to stir.**

**"What happened?" Goku mumbled, scratching his head. Vegeta woke up ten feet away from him, holding his hand over his mouth. "I think I'm going to puke." **

**"Why do I have a sudden urge to eat apple pie??" Piccolo said, helping himself up. While everyone was getting up, Vegeta was still on the ground, vomiting into a bush. **

**"Why does everything have to happen to me??" Vegeta muttered sourly, and leaned towards the bush, vomiting some more. They were all becoming seriously worried as they watched Vegeta vomiting. **

**"Dude, what happened here?" Trunks said, walking towards Vegeta to see what was wrong with him. "All I remember was talking to Vegeta, then I followed him here... He wanted to fight Goku... Galick Gun... after that, it's just a huge blank." **

**"Pumpkin pie." Piccolo said under his breath.**

**"SHUT UP!!!" Vegeta roared, vomiting into the bushes again. Trunks leaned into him, hoping he could help him in some way. Gohan lifted his head up a little, and noticed where they were standing in. They were in a huge crater. He remembered there was a plantation field there, and now it was gone, as if someone threw a ki blast in it. That plantation feild was... what was it again??**

**"What's wrong, kid? Why are you spacing out?" Piccolo asked Gohan.**

**Gohan shook his head. "Oh, it's nothing, I'm just... trying to remember what went on last night," he said with a grin. Vegeta finally stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Well... why are we standing around here for?? We have training to do!! Or have you forgotten those androids are coming in three years!!!???"**

**They all mumured in agreement, and they took off into the sky.**

**Meanwhile, the marijuana planter fell on his knees as he saw that his beautiful plantation feild was all gone. Destroyed. "This is horrible!! Why do I deserve this?? Oh why???" The man cried, hitting his fists repeatedly on the ground. His wife joined him, shaking her head at him in pure shame.**

**"I told you we should have done that brothel."**

* * *

**A/N: Okay... that was a weird ending... don't you think?? LOL!! I hoped you enjoyed this ch, and hopefull i dont get sued for the mentioning of drugs, and such... **


	7. The Androids?

**A/N: thnx for the reviews you guys really made my day!!! XD**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, but I do own the universe, therefore I declare war with MTV!! CHYESSS!!! XP**

**The slightly worn out Z Fighters flew towards Capsule Corp, hoping they could get a moments peace. Their brains were still a little buzzed out from the marijuana, but it wasn't enough to phase them out. All, except for Vegeta, who was trailing behind everyone else, holding his hand over his mouth. He still felt uneasy in the stomach. He froze as that nauseating sensation crept in his stomach. "I'm gonna... barf.." he groaned, his eyes crossing over. They immediately landed on the ground, and Vegeta found a bush to vomit in. The retching noises were making the other Z warriors sick to the stomach.**

**"Vegeta, are you sure you're alright?? I think you need to go to the hospital," said Goku, staring down at Vegeta. He wiped his mouth, and smirked. "No Kakkarot, I'm just doing fine and dandy!!!" Vegeta spat sarcastically. "And no, I do not need a doctor!! I am fine just the way I am!!!" His eyes flew open in surprise, and he leaned into the bush again, making horrible retching noises. He paused for a brief moment, and he lifted himself off the ground, his eyes crossing over.**

**"Like I said... I'm fine just the way I am."**

**Trunks was far away from all the others, shaking his head angrily. _My father is just too stubborn!! Who knows... maybe he's having an allergic reaction to the marijuana... this could get serious if we don't do anything about it. _**

**"Trunks, you coming??" Gohan called out for Trunks, who was already fifty feet in the air. He shook his head, when he noticed Vegeta was still there with him. "Yeah, I think I'll watch over Vegeta for now. You guys go ahead without me."**

**"Are you sure Trunks... what if Vegeta... tries to... you know..." Gohan stuttered.**

**Trunks chuckled softly. "I'm pretty sure he won't kill me. And if he does, I won't let him... You guys go ahead, I'll be fine"**

**"Okay..." Gohan was gone in a spilt second. Turning his attention back to his father, he dropped his gaurd, and dug through his pockets. When he finally sought what he was looking for, he handed it to Vegeta.**

**"What's that?" Vegeta's voice was slightly slurry.**

**"It's a senzu bean. It'll make you feel better."**

**He took it quickly, chewing thoroughly, and he was back to normal. His energy was rising back to normal dramatically. "Where are the others??"**

**"They left not too long ago. I stayed here... to check up on you."**

**"That wasn't necessary!! I've been through far worse situations than this!! I could take care of myself!!!" Vegeta spat.**

**"But... you're my father. I'm not gonna stand there, and watch you... die again." Trunks added with a small growl. "I don't want to loose you yet again, father!!! Don't you understand!!??"**

**Vegeta didn't respond, but just nodded, as if agreeing to something. This confused Trunks immensely. "So, uh... what now?"**

**"We follow Kakkarot. What else is there to do??"**

**Trunks eyes his father like he was some sort of psycho. "But... you have to go back home. Mom--err, Bulma must be worried, since you've been gone all night."**

**"Peh. The woman is fine without me. And does it look like I care??"**

**Trunks shook his head. "Oh great... Well... if that's what you want... Goku should be home by now... I could already imagine the look on Chi-chi's face when she sees Goku... I could see it now... Goku running away, and Chi-chi running after him with the frying pan--"**

**"On second thought, why don't we check on the woman..." Vegeta interrupted, a huge sweat drop on the back of his head. Trunks snickered as they took off in the air, heading towards Capsule Corp.**

* * *

**Once they arrived, Bulma ran out to meet the two. "Oh there you are, I was trying to look for you all morning, and Vegeta, why didn't you tell me you were going to leave after we--"**

**"Not in front of the brat!!!" Vegeta hissed, turning bright red. Trunks looked away, pretending he hadn't heard a thing.**

**"Where did you guys go??"**

**"We were training." Trunks answered defensively. "Gomen. I should have called--"**

**"It's alright, don't worry."**

**Vegeta just stood there, looking at the sky.**

**"Umm... fath--err... Vegeta??"**

**Vegeta stared back at Trunks sternly. "The androids... they're here!!!"**

* * *

**A/N: i know, short ch, but ill try to make the next ch longer, and it'll be even funnier XD**


	8. She's Back!

**A/N: sorry it took me a while to update, but i have midterms coming up (sniff, sniff) enjoy ;)**

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**"What do you mean the androids are here??!!" Trunks shouted as they rushed out of the mansion. "I... I don't get it!! I specifically said three years!!!"**

**"Well what if your wrong??!!" Vegeta spat, changing his boots.**

**"I don't know... maybe I made a... miscalculation??" Trunks said with a shrug.**

**Vegeta stared up at him as though he were some sort of psychopath. "Miscalculation?? We're playing with fire here!! HOW COULD YOU MAKE A MISCALCULATION!!??"**

**Trunks turned around, counting. "Or maybe it wasn't three years... hahahaha... I guess I don't know." Trunks grinned stupidly.**

**Vegeta fell down to the ground, legs twitching in the air. "HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?"**

**"Calm down man, I know we could figure out something." He paced, and placed his hands in his pockets. "We'll call Goku, and the rest, and... I'll get more senzu beans... any ideas dad??"**

**"Perhaps... yes... it is possible." Vegeta said.**

**"What?? What is possible??"**

**"To ascend... to ascend beyond the super saiyan!!!"**

**Trunks jaw flew open. "Are you nuts!!?? Is that even possible?!"**

**"Yes. And I'm pretty sure Kakkarot will agree with me... in fact... I'm sure he'd figure it out long ago."**

**Trunks stopped pacing, and sat on the large boulder, beginning to think things over. "It is a possibility. But... won't it take a long time to--"**

**"I was afraid you were going to say that." Vegeta grumbled.**

**"VEGETA!! TRUNKS!! THERE YOU ARE!!!"**

**Goku appeared from nowhere, his fingers pressed on his forehead. "Good God I found you, Vegeta... he's gone... and I can't find him!!!"**

**Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you babbling about??"**

**"Yamcha!!! He's...(pant)... missing!!! Have you seen him???"**

**"Are you kidding me?? You're busying me with that stupid clown??!! Pathetic!! And here I thought you had information about the androids!!!"**

**"Androids??" Goku cocked his head in surprise.**

**"Trunks, explain." Vegeta murmured lazily.**

**"Well you see... Vegeta is suspicious that the andriods have arrived."**

**"But... it hasn't been three years yet!!" Goku shouted.**

**"That's what I've been trying to tell him!! But he won't listen, and he insists I made a miscalculation!!"**

**"It could be... but--"**

**"WHAT??" Vegeta and Trunks spat impatiently.**

**"Can you help me find Yamcha??"**

**Vegeta and Trunks fell to the ground, feet twitching in the air.**

**"Fine!! We'll go look for your stupid friend of a clown, and when we're finished with that, we'll figure out this android business!!"**

**"Alright!! Vegeta, you go north, Trunks, you go south, I'll check east and west!!!"**

**"Right!!"**

**"Wait!!!" Goku called out to them.**

**"WHAT???" Vegeta and Trunks spat impatiently.**

**Goku rubbed the back of his neck with a stupid grin on his face. "Which way is east??"**

**Vegeta and Trunks both thwacked him upside the head.**

**"YOU MEANIE!!!" Goku shook his fists at them, eyes flowing with tears.**

**Vegeta searched high and low searching for a trace of ki of Yamcha. He still couldn't find him. Perhaps it was his unbelievably low ki, he thought disgustedly. **

**He landed right in front of a bar, he never quite noticed before. Perhaps he could take a break, and get something to drink. He shrugged, and went inside. At once, he felt a familiar puny ki inside, and he found the weakling Yamcha in one of the bar stools. Immediately, he walked up to him, and grabbed him by the collar.**

**"I have finally found you, clown!! Now let's get going!!!" Vegeta exhorted, already dragging him out of the bar. Yamcha lifted his hand up defensively, and extricated himself from Vegeta.**

**"Hey what the hell is your fucking problem?? I'm busy!!" Yamcha whined.**

**"Shut your asshole before I busy myself by beating you to a tiny pulp!!!" Vegeta spat, cracking this fingers. Yamcha didn't flinch, and just frowned at his captor.**

**"You don't understand!! I have... business... to attend to here... like... facing my nightmare..." Yamcha shivered.**

**"What are you babbling about?? Spit it out already!!!" Vegeta spat, the grip on his collar growing more tighter.**

**"You see... this... is a gay bar, and...I met this girl here, and she had a... (cough, cough)..."**

**"A what, what now??" Vegeta raised his eyebrow.**

**"You see... she had... erm... plastic surgery, and she... had a sex change--"**

**"Sex change?? How is that even possible??"**

**"I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU!!!"**

**Vegeta and Yamcha turned around, only to have a white powder thrown in their faces. The two fell unconscious to the ground.**

**

* * *

**

**Hours later, Vegeta finally awoke, to find himself almost half naked, and tied to a half naked to Yamcha. Quickly, he scurried the ropes off of him, and tried to wake the unconscious Yamcha by giving him several blows to the head with the back of his hand. Yamcha finally awoke, and groaned, massaging his head.**

**"Dude... am I having a hangover??"**

**"Get up you pathetic clown!!"**

**Yamcha looked around curiously, slowly raising his eyebrow. He lifted out his nose, and froze. "Uh oh..."**

**Vegeta frowned. "What?"**

**"This is where... I... she... " Yamcha finally noticed at their half nakedness. "OH CRAP SHE'S HERE!!!" Yamcha shouted, biting his fingernails nervously. At this, the bartender walked up to them slowly, holding a whip in her hand. There was a devilish smirk playing around her lips. "Hello boys..." Yamcha nearly fainted.**

**Vegeta's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "You there!!! Are you the android??!!" He spat, pointing a finger at him/her.**

**Yamcha raised his eyebrow. "Android?? There's an android here?? But didn't Trunks say--"**

**"Shut your butt hole, you butt fuck!!! Now, why are you here, and where are the other androids??!!" Vegeta spat, now turning to the bartender. **

**"Vegeta... look, she's--"**

**"I SAID SHUT YOUR BUTTHOLE YOU FARTBUTT!!" Vegeta said at the top of his lungs.**

**"Fart butt??" Yamcha said with a small chuckle.**

**"I SAID SHUT IT!!"**

**"But she's not an android!!" Yamcha argued.**

**"Don't question me!! I know an android when I see one!!" **

**"Uhh... what are you guys talking about??" The bartender said, who was already naked. Vegeta couldn't put into words what he saw there. It was like a nightmare becoming a reality, which he quite couldn't fathom. All he heard were his and Yamcha's high pitched screams, and he didn't even realize when Yamcha jumped into his arms.**

**"HOLY MOTHER OF JOSES!!!" shouted Vegeta.**

* * *

**A/N: sorry i left it at a cliffy... just to add more dramatics, lol**


End file.
